My birth story: Part 1| NICU baby 1 month early

I am so excited to jot down this story and I finally feel the freedom to write this and not feel the mom guilt of chores etc while Shepherd is sleeping (happily in his daddy's arms). 

So here we are in the middle of November and I start getting prodromal labor. I figured it was nothing to be concerned with. In fact, it started the night after we had our childbirth education class so I figured it was just me being a hypochondriac on that Friday evening. Saturday come around and I had a few more cramp feelings but again I didn't really think anything of it. By Sunday, I told my friends at church what was going on and they said it's probably OK, they would be praying for me and also advised me maybe not to go to the three day conference I had to go to for work (Tuesday through Thursday). I assured them it was probably nothing but I just wanted the prayers incase. On Monday, I had a conversation with my boss to tell him I was feeling like I had prodromal labor, it was picking up but still nothing I was personally worried about, I told him I will still be going to the conference (I had to give a presentation) but to keep an eye on me and sent him a picture of this shot I would need if any trauma happened to my belly (chance of having a different blood type than baby). That worried him a bit, but we decided it was going to be fine.

I bet you can tell where this story is going.

Tuesday. I wake up at around 2 in the morning having a hard time sleeping, nerves...probably. I try to sleep a bit more because I had to leave very early to get to Duluth, MN by 8AM. I was having cramps the whole drive to where I was thinking about it a lot and considering not attending the conference. It was a 2.5 hour drive. When I get there I told my boss and all my coworkers/partners about the situation, still shrugging it off that I am fine and it's probably just nerves and practice contractions. I definitely knew it was something at this point. Sitting through presentations all day, having lunch and back to more presentations I was starting to get...uncomfortable at most. By 3 PM we had a break to network so I found my people and we got some snacks. I told them I was still feeling weird and they encouraged me to go home and I refused. However, I did gain the courage to suggest to my boss that maybe I go to my hotel room and rest- hoping tomorrow would be all better and I could start fresh. My boss told me to go home. Everyone was worried about me and I can just attend the conference virtually. Reluctantly I said that's what I would do, I was relieved but kind of felt as though I had let them down and probably for no reason as this would probably pass soon. 

On the drive home I called my friend who has a young daughter and asked her if she still had my house key from dog sitting days prior, she did and started apologizing for not getting it to me sooner. I laughed and said she may need to keep it because I feel weird. I then asked what labor was like because I was starting to get concerned. She told me how all labors are different but helped me count my "contractions". Oof. 8-9 in 60 minutes. That is actually significant. I called the midwives, service was bad and I didn't persist in fears I was bothering them. Again I am thinking that this can't be anything. I get home and actually feel kind of sick and shaky, telling Parker I probably just need some food because it was around 7 PM. He told me I really needed to call the midwives and so I did. I had to time my contractions and so I got this app. After 5 contractions it told me to go to the hospital. I didn't. I sent the results to my midwife and she called me and said I really need to go to the hospital in 10 minutes. I was almost 36 weeks term but the midwives don't deliver unless its 37 weeks or more. In my pajamas we go to the hospital down the road from us, I was still thinking that I would probably get sent home. 

At the hospital they initially thought maybe I was dehydrated or needed electrolytes so I got an IV (arguably the worst experience of all of this because I am a big baby about hospital procedures). So the IV definitely made me feel more hydrated but that wasn't actually it. The nurse checked be and I was 3 cm and 90% effaced. I was, without a doubt, in labor. After figuring out I am in labor, they gave me a shot to slow it down. Ideally, at that point, they wanted to slow labor for as long as they can- they were hoping for 2 weeks. 2 weeks where I would be confined to the bed as to not have the baby yet. The shot didn't work, I was very in labor. They then called in a doctor (??) who took forever to arrive and when she did she looked like a 100 year old Tim Burton character because she was tall, lanky and walked like how you'd imagine a skeleton to walk. She had on a top hat with a very large flower in the front, poofy hair, a huge Halloween scarf and a long skirt. OH and LONG RED FINGERNAILS. Not the best for checking a woman in labor (she checked me too- yup still 3 cm but now bloody- sorry TMI). So they determined if they can't stop the labor and baby is coming I need to be RUSHED to a hospital with a NICU. Out of 3 choices of 3 different states (Wausau, WI- Marquette, MI- Duluth, MN), I was hoping for Duluth because it is closer to the midwives I had been seeing and luckily that was my best option the care team determined. Then the next problem is how to get there. Parker wasn't allowed to drive me because they thought I could give labor at any minute. So it was either an ambulance or helicopter. I pleaded neither one because of the cost but I learned that if you are required to have it insurance helps. Insurance that went into effect only about 2 weeks before all this happened. Ambulance it was then. During all this I was absolutely fine except for the realization of labor, the potential of being in bed for 2 weeks and a likely NICU baby- I was physically shaking. Not from labor pains because I obviously didn't know I was in labor but it was all just nerves. The strange doctor lady came in and tried to comfort me by saying something to the effect of "Duluth is the best place for you because a lot of problems can happen with an early baby" then she proceeded to list a bunch of things that could go wrong including severe breathing issues. I, being scared out of my mind for all this, said "that's not going to happen in Jesus name" she didn't hear me and asked for it to be repeated and I did. I was testifying in Jesus name to all the nursing staff, and to the ambulance staff when they got there. This was too big for me, I was so so scared, all I could do was proclaim Jesus over the situation and thank God I wasn't in pain. 

My friend who had the key still was able to grab me a hospital bag because I had nothing packed. In fact it was my conference bag because it was the most ready to go- with polo shirts and makeup I don't plan to use, haha. She also grabbed some baby essentials like the car seat and our diaper bag. Soon after, the ambulance finally arrived and it was after 10PM,then we were heading to Duluth after some wait for IV fluids. They were very nice to me, one reminded me of an old boss I had and we talked about hunting and I reassured them I probably won't give birth in the ambulance but if I do I think I'll be okay. They put me in the ambulance, Parker had to drive behind us, and off we went to Duluth. The nurse I had went with me to monitor my contractions. It was SO hot in the ambulance that was the worst part of the ride, it was bumpy too but my goodness was it hot. I had them open a window and fan me since the AC was off. I was talking away and decided I need to take a nap, it's late and I have a big time ahead of me. In between resting (I never napped) I could tell the contractions were getting closer together though it was still very manageable to me. I didn't dare ask the nurse though. I could tell she was getting worried and so was the ambulance staff and I would reassure them I was okay.  

When we got to the hospital it was after 1 AM (Parker arrived around 30 minutes later). I got in my room after a mase of hallways and had a very nice nurse named Siri. Siri and I joked and laughed at my situation and got to know each other. I told her "I know you don't like women to eat or drink in labor but I haven't really ate since lunch can I have some food?" She brought me food and something to drink and refilled my water I had with me from the pervious hospital. The doctor finally came in and I was telling her all about things and she asked to check me, I said okay. The doctor and Siri were both shocked which concerned me a bit but she then said "You're a 7. Women start screaming at 6 usually. I was starting to feel bad you went all this way just for me to send you home from how calm you are acting but you are having your baby soon!" "Do you want any pain management? An epidural?" I said no. Doctor said "That's fine I don't think you need one based on how well you are doing". More praise to Jesus. Then after finding out I was in active labor, I asked if I could walk around and kind of help things along. I wanted to get this over with I was really tired. Doctor said "No, we aren't going to let you do anything to help speed this up because the longer your baby is inside the better, but, we won't stop you from doing what you need to do." That may have also been Siri saying that I don't remember. So I was stuck in bed unless I needed the restroom which Siri graciously helped me with. So from then on Parker and I just talked and waited, Siri brought me food and drinks and I tried to nap.

I finally fell asleep and my water broke. I was wondering what that would be like and if it would happen soon. It was around 5AM. That is when things got much more intense. Contractions needed more attention and I just couldn't stay comfortable. Breathing was my way through it and escaping in to talk to Jesus. I was allowed to move now, walking around didn't feel great, swaying with Parker didn't help too much, the birth ball was very nice in one position but because of the monitors on me I had to sit different which hurt so I stopped. I squeezed a comb- that was kind of nice. Mostly I just laid on different sides on the bed and held the railing when things got hard. I even tried on my hands and knees and Parker or Siri pushed on my hips- that was lovely but they had me stop due to a lot of bleeding. I found out later it was normal and okay just scary. I started throwing up a lot, it was my fault I know and I didn't care. It got my mind off things but wasn't fun. I joked with Siri about it and she kept getting me puke bags. On one occasion, nurses came to draw my blood which they did a LOT of, she was young and knelt beside me to get another blood sample. I was nauseous and told her "ma'am if you don't move I am going to throw up on you." She looked horrified, moved and a puke bag appeared to save the day. 

"Those who call on the name of the LORD will be saved...Jesus" I kept repeating in my mind and aloud. Siri kept asking about if I feel pressure. Well, I guess. I didn't know what she meant. The whole contractions felt like pressure, right? Then I understood. Probably right at 6AM I felt a pop in my pelvis, like a really big pop. I thought it was audible. I let out a loud scream (later I found out it wasn't very loud at all). That was it- the pressure. Shepherd was coming. A huge staff of nurses came in, the doctor and NICU nurses and I was being coached on how I should lay and how to push. I think Parker held my leg up for me. Next baby I want to not lay in such a awkward position. I pushed about 6 or 8 times and Shepherd came out screaming (PRAISE GOD!). I immediately asked to hold him. Since he was breathing and appeared really healthy I was allowed about 30 minutes with him which went by in a flash then he was rushed to the NICU. After checking on me and Siri assuring Parker I was in good hands, he went after Shepherd to the NICU. Siri only had about 20 minutes left before she clocked out and I had wanted to make sure I had my baby with her around as I feel like we became friends. She was a very holistic type nurse and understood my desires or a natural birth the way I wanted it. 

I went to see Shepherd often in the NICU. His only issues was keeping a stable temperature and his feeding. Most early babies have a hard time with these things. He was a miracle boy, no issues that people, doctors, nurses told me came true. God had his hand on this and Shep was perfect. He had a 9 day stay in the NICU. I'll tell that story in the next blog. But we are all home and have been for a while. Shep came home weighing 5 pounds 8 ounces and he now weighs 13 pounds!